she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
