You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
