I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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