is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
