i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
