All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
