I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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