Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
