On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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