I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
