I'm drive I can fine osifer
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
We got so high we made milksteak
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
