piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
