Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
