Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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