There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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