I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
