Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
