Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I am available for nakedness
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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