What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
