when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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