i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
