Fine. I'll sleep in my office
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
this is an emotional support booty call
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
