how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
