genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
