Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
