I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
too bad you live with your parents still
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
