Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
