he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
