To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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