nut hugger
I can tuck mytits in my pants
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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