Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
