Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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