Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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