Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
