It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle