and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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