THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
