jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
