Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
