my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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