If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
