he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
