hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
