"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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