oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
