Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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