How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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