Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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