let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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