Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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