weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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