I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
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But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
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Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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