oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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