when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
